These explain exactly why most of us don’t report our assaults.

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Photo by Tingey Injury Law Firm on Unsplash

***Trigger Warning: this article contains descriptions of sexual assault, abuse, abuse of minors and violence that may not be suitable for all readers. Fearless community, please read with care.***

A string of tweets from Twitter user SophieChiaka went viral several months ago when it exposed the horrifying realities of retraumatization that survivors encounter in the court system.

“Wow, you’re alive?” Wheeler remarked to his victim when she regained consciousness.

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In North America, more than 40% of Black women will experience domestic violence in their lifetime. Black women are also 2.5 times more likely to be murdered by men than White women.

Within a topic where there is already little support due to gender inequality and patriarchal ideals, Black women, in particular, are at an even greater risk of being victimized by crimes such as domestic violence.

Chad Wheeler, an NFL player for the Seattle Seahawks, was arrested on Friday, January 22ndon suspicion of felony domestic violence after the brutal beating of his girlfriend.

Court documents state that the victim…

A double standard from almost a decade ago that needs to be addressed.

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This incident will be a blast from the past, taking us back to 2013. Specifically, back to the set of Seth Rogan’s film, This is the End.

Despite the fact that this took place in 2013, it’s interesting to note that even in 2020, this brief encounter is still being held against Emma Watson today.

I had never heard of the “On-set Speedo Incident” before, but recently I was scrolling through social media and encountered a story about why Emma Watson and Channing Tatum don’t work together professionally anymore.

I was shocked to hear about what happened, and also enraged…

Despite horrific acts of violence, rich men in the entertainment industry are still walking away unscathed and all the richer for the publicity.

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Evan Rachel Wood, actress and vocal advocate for survivors of sexual assault and domestic abuse, came out publicly several weeks ago to accuse her ex-husband, singer and entertainer Marilyn Manson, of horrific abuse and manipulation during their relationship.

Here’s an average day for someone who makes their living from writing on Medium.

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Photo by Joel Muniz on Unsplash

Many readers have been following my journey on Medium for the last 2 years. I started writing on Medium in March 2019, and I carried a dream to one day make my full-time living from my writing, particularly from this platform.

It was upon reading stories from Shannon Ashley, who is Medium royalty, that I realized it was possible to write on Medium and actually make a full-time income from it.

Not easy, certainly not easy. But possible.

As a young person who started a social media marketing company straight out of school at 22, I didn’t need a guarantee…

I’ve made a career around writing pieces that are uncomfortable, emotionally challenging and vulnerable. Here’s how I manage it.

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Photo by Doğukan Şahin on Unsplash

I recently wrote an article that many found triggering, including myself. It was a commentary on some direct quotes that judges have made to sexual assault survivors that are beyond horrible — but sadly, not surprising either, knowing the current climate we live in.

In the comment section, some readers thanked me for taking on the emotional burden to write this piece. They acknowledged that it was hard to read, and likely would have been even harder to write, but that it’s important we be talking about this openly and publicly.

This got me thinking about how we don’t always…

Why writing personal essays makes you, yes YOU, a superhero.

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Photo by Sinitta Leunen on Unsplash

We live in a society that values strength and put-togetherness over tenderness and emotional transparency.

If anything, expressing one’s feelings turns many people off. It makes people uncomfortable when an individual strips down their walls and shows their deepest, unpolished selves to the world.

That is why so many our in society are so turned off by discussions of racism and gender inequality. It all comes down to discomfort.

It’s why they lash out at survivors of sexual assault and domestic violence who step forward to out their attackers.

Why so many writers, like you and I, who share their…

The lessons you only learn if you’ve fostered a dog with massive behavioural issues.

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Photo by Karsten Winegeart on Unsplash

Not long ago, my husband and I were foster parents to a small purebred Shih Tzu, who pretty well landed on our front stoop one day without any notice.

We knew the previous owner, and had worried about this little guy for several years. The owner was looking for a companion to fill the space of a romantic relationship, and once that same owner found a romantic relationship, she didn’t have much of a need for the dog anymore.

Berkeley didn’t get the upbringing that he should have had. …

Many writers can relate to these ambitious dreams and desires.

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Photo by Kira auf der Heide on Unsplash

In the two years I’ve been writing on Medium, I’ve been fairly open and transparent about my journey.

I know that there are many new writers on Medium who are looking to find the things that I have found here, and this article is meant to prove to you that it’s possible, it’s true, and it can happen.

So, let’s dig into all the ways that writing on Medium has changed my life for the better.

And better yet, the ways that Medium could change your life, too.

I am now a full-time creative writer.

I’m putting this point first because it’s often the one that speaks…

I deleted a vulnerable story the other day, because my paranoia convinced me it would one day be used against me.

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Photo by Pim Chu on Unsplash

The life of a sexual assault survivor isn’t at all straightforward.

The trauma alone is a handful. Anxiety is a general underlying current, paranoia and panic attacks can disrupt one’s day at any time, and the recovery journey can take hours a day out of a survivor's life.

That’s just the most basic way that the trauma from a violation affects us.

Then there are the more complex elements — directly after the assault, for example, there are plenty of decisions to make.

Did this actually just happen to me?

Do I report my attacker?

Should I go get a…

Gillian Sisley

Online solopreneur. Tea drinker. Committed optimist. I write about womanhood, writing & entrepreneurship. Never miss a single beat 👉

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